Moving Day

I've made the switch to Wordpress.  I am in love.  So head on over and visit us.  I've imported all my post from Blogger.  Our new site is called ThirtyplusThree.  The web address is www.ourcfcarousel.com.  I'm looking forward to working on the site.  Please be patient as I try to customize and stylize our new home.

Ch-Ch-Changes...

Making the move to a new (to me) blogging platform!  Time to graduate from Blogger to the real deal.  Hopefully, with Madison's cooperation, I'll be able to get this done tonight.  Can't wait!

Times Like These

John's laying on the floor using his chest percussor. He's already done his right side and coughed up a whole lot of BLECH. Now he's working on his left side.  He has a chest therapy vest to use too, it just doesn't do the same job. For the most part, day to day, his CF just blends into our lives. Digestive Enzymes here, breathing treatment there. When he gets sick, it sticks out like a sore thumb. A sinus infection to him is like the flu to anyone else. A simple sinus infection. It's times like these I snap back to the reality of our life and living with Cystic Fibrosis. As he nears the median age of survival with CF, I can't help but wonder what our future holds. That's 37 by the way. He's 32. I know it stresses him out worrying about what will happen to his family when something happens to him. It's harder for him to put out of his mind since he is the one living with it every day. Each time he has a coughing spell or his asthma is bothering him. Each time he takes a pill or breathing treatment. How could it not be on your mind?

Shelby and John on Father's Day.

John using his chest percussor

We love him very much.  We've been more lucky than most.  I hope we continue to be lucky.

Generations

 

My girls.  Cindy Lou Who will always have someone to turn to.  Someone to look up to.  She will have her big sister.  Being an only child, I appreciate what my girls will have as they grow older.  There is a bond between sisters that is unexplainable.  Almost like that of twins.  Thing 1 has the best of both worlds.  She has a brother who is by her side, going through this awkward stage in life as “tweens”.  She has a sister, who in time, will be her best friend.  I had never given thought to children before I had them.  I didn’t know that I wanted them, how many, or when.  Starting a family was not in my big picture.  Now it’s my only picture. 

Oldest

Welcome Spring!

 

Oh how I’m glad to see your warm return.  We enjoyed a beautiful day at The Zoo and one of our local parks.  Cindy Lou Who is starting to let me take the occasional picture where she actually smiles at me.  I’m not a fan of posed pictures, but it would be nice to have a picture of her smiling.  It takes some work, but she let me get a few today.  Thing 1 and Thing 2 are complete hams at this point.  I never have to worry about them not wanting to take a photo, just whether or not it will be goofy. 

 

 

 

 

More pictures from our day can be viewed on my Flickr account.  Just click here.

Staycation

What was supposed to be a road trip with me and a friend ended up being a week with John and Cindy Lou Who instead. Our trip to Philly was rained out. Many of the activities that Amanda and I had planned were outdoors; the rain took care of that. We are in the process of rescheduling however. John had already put in the vacation days at work and couldn't take them back so we spent time together instead. He was going to be at home with Cindy Lou Who while I was away. Thursday and Friday were fairly uneventful days. He had homework to get done and 2 papers to write so we hung around the house and rented movies. Friday night, Thing 1 had a semi-formal birthday party to attend. It was so fun shopping for a dress and shoes. My little girl isn't so little anymore. I asked her when we arrived if she wanted me to walk her in or stay in the van. I'll let you guess which option she chose. I could see the other party-goers in the foyer of the facility. It was very refreshing to see middle school kids dressed like young men and ladies vs. what they wear to school on a daily basis. Believe me, with as much as I volunteer at school I mean daily basis!

Saturday, John and I took Cindy Lou Who to the Louisville Science Center. I had visited there a few weeks ago to see the Titanic Artifacts Exhibit. There is a Kids Space that Cindy Lou just LOVES! It is such a hands on area. No where in "Kids Space" will you hear someone say, "Don't touch that!" Her favorite part is the water play area. After our first visit, I learned what extras to pack in our bag to enjoy this part. They do provide rain jackets and dryers, but they don't provide dry socks/shoes/pants.... yeah, we got it under control now. There is so much to see and do it takes us between 4-5 hours.

We spent another fun-filled day together on Sunday. Bowling! It was Cindy Lou Who's first experience with bowling. She was 5 months old the first time she was in a bowling center. We had Thing 1 and Thing 2's birthday party at a bowling ally in 2008. So, now that she can walk, talk, and pick things up and throw them, we thought she might enjoy it. Boy oh boy did she ever! She was so excited to be able to push the ball down the lane every turn. One turn she got a little too excited and wanted to chase the ball. She got two steps onto the lane and ---- SPLAT! Right on her back. Lane oil and all, makes things slick. She tried to stand up on her own instead of waiting for John; who was trying to help her and --- SPLAT! She fell down again. From that point on, she didn't get close to the foul line again. Quick learner. We came home for a much needed nap and instead got unwanted playtime. We had dinner plans with some friends at one of our favorite places, Red Robin- Yummm! Cindy Lou was not going to make this a pleasant outing. We could already see that. Look to the sky! What's that? A bird? A plane? No! It's super GiGi coming to save the day! Literally we were preparing to walk out the door when my mom said she would keep her. Whew! We definitely dodge the bullet on that one. So, we headed off to dinner and had a great, adult only (except the baby in womb of our dear friends) time. Those are few and far between. The perfect end to a wonderful week spent together.

By the Grace of God

In January I posted about a very real, very personal issue in my life. In order to grasp the gravity of this post, you can go back and read it here. After 4 court dates and lots of worry and stress later, my Dad had another hearing scheduled for today. I posted earlier on Facebook that I had some amazing news to blog about. I do. By the Grace of God, the arresting officer and my Dad's public defender were able to agree to amend his charges. He was still charged with possession of an illegal substance, but only a misdemeanor felony charge. The lab results found that he actually had enough to be charged with a First Class Felony that carried a charge of up to 15 years. I breathe a sigh of relief that this was reduced. The officer was pleased with the fact that my Dad took it upon himself to seek and stay in treatment. So the outcome of today is conditional release. He has to stay in treatment (have no lapse) and return to court in 6 months for the judge to view his progress. As of right now, he is almost 90 days clean. In the past 3 months (almost) I have spent more time with my Dad then I had in the past 4 years. This whole experience has been the best thing that has happened to my Dad. He is thinking more clearly, enjoying time with us, and enjoying his place in life. So, while this may not be a significant day to most, it is a great day for me. We celebrated with a great lunch at Hard Rock Cafe before I had to take him to his next AA meeting. I continue to pray for his recovery every day. I can now begin to work on my own knowing that at least he is safe from prison.

Down, But Not Out

So that last post was a little heavy right? Yeah, but it made me feel better. I hadn't written about it or journaled in any way since it happened. So here we are in 2010. Mom had been having migraines without any kind of relief for a while. She lost vision for a little while in her left eye, like so blurry all she could do was lay down because she couldn't see to walk. So she decided that a doctor appointment was more than necessary to see what was going on. She had her first MRI on January 8. On January 11, the doctor called with the results. She had several areas of bleeding on her brain. On January 12, they called to schedule another MRI, this one with contrast to see if they could narrow down the cause of the bleeds. January 14 the new MRI was done and the results were promised by noon on Friday. At least we didn't have to go the weekend wondering. The doctor's office did call as promised, but the person with the chart had no idea how to read the chart and said they would have to get back to her. Wow. So why didn't someone qualified to read it make the first call? Anyway, someone with knowledge of what they were looking at did finally call. Multiple Sclerosis. It explains a lot of symptoms Mom has had over the past several years believe it or not. Not the best news, but not devastating either. I react to serious information like this (and like the situation with my Dad) by arming myself education on the topic. I have not had any kind of emotional reaction. I am not deep in despair, I am not crying my eyes out, I am not feeling sorry for her or for me, and I am not wallowing in any kind of variation of the above. I just don't do that. I don't know how to be any different. I guess it comes from marrying someone who has a terminal illness that changes your outlook on how you process serious information. When John and I started dating and he felt like things were getting more serious, he told me about his CF (Cystic Fibrosis). I went home and searched the Internet for more information. Funny thing about it, John did not make it out to be very serious at all. I don't know if he was trying to protect me or was afraid if I really knew how bad it could be (and that his brother had just recently passed from the same disease at age 25) I would walk away. So when I looked up the information for myself, I was scared to death! The median age for survival in 2001 was 35 I think. Now, take the fact you are contemplating spending the rest of your life with someone, you are 22 years old and you just found out they may or may not live past 35. That sent me into emotional overload. From that point forward I went to every doctor appointment he had, every annual visit which was more in depth, and kept up with his care daily. I was paranoid. It wasn't doing me any good, so I changed. I quit going to his regular check-ups. No need. I went to his annual visits if my work schedule (when I was working) permitted it. I no longer remind him to take this or that treatment. I am not in control. God is in control and I have to resign myself to that. So now I am a former freak out emotionally because that is a natural reaction person. I instead gather my thoughts, gather my information, process it all and react from there. I am getting knocked down a lot these past few months, but I am most certainly not out.

Skeletons

If your family is without any skeletons in their closet, count yourself among the lucky. I never would have imagined that watching A&E's Intervention for entertainment would have turned into a playbook for my life. If you have never dealt with someone who has an addiction who is going through recovery, I can only liken the experience to raising a child. Seriously. I remember bits and pieces of my childhood. I don't have any memories of my Dad not being there. My parents were divorced yes, but I still saw him on a scheduled basis. Every other weekend. How's that for quality time. My Mom got to see me for 26 days out of each month (using 30 days) and my Dad for 4. Every other Friday I would sit in our bay window looking down the drive waiting on my Dad. This was well before cell phones were around-and YES we all survived- How about that?!? Anyway, I think Dad picked me up around 5:30 on those Friday's and I had to be home by Sunday at 6. There were some exceptions to this rule. Memorial Day weekend we ALWAYS went camping whether or not it fell on his weekend to have me or not. We would pack up Friday night, drive to where ever it was we had decided upon camping, set up camp (usually well after midnight) and spend through Monday. I loved to go camping with my Dad. I most certainly was not the compulsive mom who hates grassed stained, mud covered clothes that I am today. I was a kid and had great fun being a kid. Innocence. I oozed innocence. We went camping a few times in the winter, but that wasn't nearly as much fun as the summer. In the winter we spent our time bowling. My Dad used to be a great bowler. Age and addiction have probably changed that now, but he was great then. I've had my own bowling ball since I was 9 or 10. I still have the same bowling bag that my Dad gave me for Christmas one year with my first ball. I recently used it when we went with a group of friends. Needless to say, we were close. I looked forward to our weekends together. I trusted him, knew I could tell him anything without fear of lecture, and most of all felt loved. Our relationship changed a little when I obtained my driver's license. I was no longer "required" to visit every other weekend just as he no longer had to pick me up. I had a car and was free! I was at the age of wanting to hang with my friends and not at home. Typical teenage stuff. I still got to see my Dad often though because he was a volunteer with our marching band. We had a competition more or less every weekend and he was there. He was always on the sidelines helping out and cheering me on. It was enough for me to know he was there. Our relationship really took a turn when I turned 18. Legally he no longer had to pay my Mom child support and I no longer had "required" visitation. I was by law an adult and he was by law freed of his financial commitment. On my graduation day in June 1997, I had the biggest knot in my stomach. Not because we were graduating and "play-time" was over, but because my Mom had vowed to call the police if she saw him there. Funny thing was, she had no right to those type of threats anymore because I was 18. The things that were laid out in their divorce no longer applied. That didn't hit me until just now as I wrote it. However, at that time I did not think about that and was afraid for myself and my Dad if she followed through on her threat. Louisville Gardens is a big place. The fear that my mother instilled in me was bigger. I did manage to see my Dad for a few moments at graduation, but was uneasy and looking over my shoulder wondering if my mom was looking. That day was without incident, but my memories of it haunt me today. So fast forward to October of 1997. I found out I was pregnant on October 31, 1997. At that time I most certainly did not know it was with twins. Why wasn't I away at college like everyone else? Yeah, that is a whole other post. The title of my blog speaks for itself. My Mom and I have not had the type of relationship a mother/daughter should. Through many controlling maneuvers and fights, she held my college money. I wasn't able to go through the admissions process or anything. Like I said, whole other post. Dad was living his life and I was living mine. We no longer went on the camping trips like before and bowling on the weekends. I was about to become a mother and begin a family. I had no idea what path he had gone down. I couldn't wait for him to be a Grandpa. After the experiences I had growing up, I could not wait for those same experiences to be shared by my Dad. I just knew he would be great. He would spend time with them and teach them everything he had taught me. That was my expectation. I should have checked with him first before getting my hopes up. Time flew between 1997 and 2001. By the time 2001 rolled around and my Grandma Jane (my Dad's mom) was dying of cancer, I felt like I barely knew my Dad. We did not have frequent communication and when I did see him, he was always onto something new. A new job venture, a new spiritual path, a new insight to life. For me it was weird and unsettling because this was not what I had spent 20 years of my life getting to know. My Grandma Jane passed in November of 2001. My Dad was the executor of her estate. That was a long, grueling process. That is when in my mind he snapped. I don't think everything was good and settled until late 2002 or early 2003 so it took some time before he was gone. John and I got married in October of 2004 and my Dad was there to walk me down the aisle, my Mom biting her lip through the group pictures. That was that. From 2004 until now, I had not much contact with my Dad at all. It was in 2006 that I realized how the drugs had taken over and he was gone. John and I were headed out-of-town for a weekend and had asked him to doggy sit for us. I called to check in once we had arrived at our destination and our phone call was weird. We arrived home and things got even more weird. In our computer room there were notes and drawings randomly scribbled on some printer paper with a Sharpie. It was my Dad's handwriting and drawings and the notes were addressed to me. The upstairs of our house had a really, really, strange odor. I had never in my life smelled something so strange. It didn't mimic anything I had ever smelled before. As we investigated the upstairs, the strange smell was coming from the twins bathroom. We started looking around and trying to see if there were any cleaners that had been used or anything that would have cause such an odor. Nothing. As I was examining the bath tub, I started to see little speckles. I followed the trail of little speckles and they led me to larger speckles (which were actually large dots) of blood on the ceiling. How in the H*** did blood get on my ceiling?!? I tried to call my Dad several times with no answer. I was worried. When I finally did get in touch with him, the whopper of a story I got beat all. The kids could have come up with a better story than the one I got fed. At any rate, that was July of 2006. In February of 2007 was the last time my Dad was in my home. I at least got the real story of what happened that day. I was more infuriated than I had ever been in my life. He had brought along someone with him-to MY home-that was a known drug user, that got high in my children's bathroom. Now I know what Cocaine smells like. Thanks Dad for that. I don't think that is something I ever set out in my life wanting to know the smell of. I could not reach out to him at that point because he did not want to be helped. He was not ready to quit. He had not reached his bottom.Standing in my living room in February 2007, I made a vow to myself and my family that I would not let him back in our life until he had changed. I would not bring my children around that or let them be exposed to that lifestyle. That was his choice to make, not mine. John and I went through the In-vitro process in April of 2007 and had our daughter(who on my blog is known as Cindy Lou Who) in January 2008. I don't know if he even knew I was pregnant. In November 2008, the day after Thanksgiving he called me. He always would call out of the blue, except on my birthday. He has only ever missed calling me 1 time in 30 years on my birthday. He complained about not having any place to share Thanksgiving because no one wanted a drug user around. Well, what on Earth could you possibly expect? Living with my Mom it's not like I could invite him here. Not to mention, I didn't even know how to get a hold of him. I didn't have his address, I didn't have his sisters' cell phone number (which was who he lived with at the time), and I didn't have any of the above information of anyone who did. John and I took Cindy Lou Who to see her Grandpa for the first time since she had been born. She was 10 months old. We saw him a couple more times and then just like clock work, I didn't hear from him for a while. I think it was around August 2009 that we got in touch again and this time he was getting a job. I thought that things were at least starting to go in the right direction. I didn't want to count him down before he had fallen. I was really feeling like things were on the right track until December. He got arrested for possession and spent a night in jail. Believe it or not, his first time in jail at age 53. I heard from him when he called me from the rehab center he had checked himself into. I have spent almost every weekend with him since. He gets what I call Day Passes on Saturday and Sunday from 8-4. He is going to meetings for addiction and learning about recovery. This past week he reached a milestone that I don't think he ever had in the past. 30 days of sobriety. I have used what I learned from the interventionist on Intervention to know how an addicts' mind works. To know what they are dealing with. To know how I can help. Like I said, it is like raising a child. Teaching them social graces. Teaching them how to be accountable. Teaching them how to be responsible. He is getting better day by day. The first few weeks I saw him he was still rough around the edges. Now I'm starting to see glimmers of the Dad I knew and hope to one day know again. If you have made it all the way through this post, congratulations. Thank you for taking the time out of your life to learn more about mine. You may wonder why or how I could post something so personal? It's easy to be ashamed of something so dark and ugly in your life. If you don't take ownership of it and try to hide it, you'll never know who you are. Everything that my parents did in raising me made me who I am today. If you don't know anything about my past, how are you to know anything about my present?

Warmer Days

Click on photo to enlarge

Ho Ho's Lap

We didn't think last year was the right timing for Cindy Lou Who to see Santa. She was only 11 months old and still wasn't real sure of people other than her family. Let alone a big fat man in a red suit with a white beard. So passing up last year, we decided after a very successful trip to Disney and Halloween at The Zoo with all the characters she saw and loved there, this year was her year. She calls him Ho Ho. All the (45 minute usually takes 25) way to the mall she said, "Ho Ho's lap." Yes you are going to sit on Ho Ho's lap. She smiled. As if the 45 minute ride to the mall wasn't enough, how about the 45 minute wait to see Ho Ho? Oh the things we do for our kids. She waited very mostly patiently. When it was almost our turn, she did sit down on her knees and wait for the family in front of us to finish their visit with Santa. When it was finally her turn, she stood up, brushed herself off, and straightened her shirt. Gotta look good for the Big Man right? She walked right up to him, held up her arms to be picked up and just sat there. She looked at the other kids in line, looked ahead at the camera lady (but wasn't too thrilled with the jingle bells or squeaky duck used in a failed attempt to get her to smile), looked at Ho Ho and then decided it was time to get down. She didn't smile. Not once. So this picture is better than the one of myself at her age with Santa.

See. Told ya. It also looks like Santa's picked up a few pounds since 1980.

Okay, this post is two fold for me. I follow the McFamily over at www.mycharmingkids.net. Jennifer, the author of the blog takes wonderful photographs, edits them using Lightroom 2, and shares the finished product with all of us. She is also kind enough to share some of her editing tips/secrets so we too can get the "perfect" picture. As part of the holiday season she is giving away a copy of Lightroom 2 on her blog. So head on over, check out the McFamily, and see what she's all about!

Just Dance or Toot Your Own Horn

(Click Photo to Enlarge)

Around here that is about all we seem to do anymore! Thing 1 is super busy with dance practices preparing for an upcoming competition. She also has her studio class that meets twice a week... on the same days as after school practice, plus one private practice to fine tune it all. I love it. This is what being a mom (not a mother) is all about. Mothering is the loving, nurturing, taking care of side of things. A mom is on the sidelines cheering you on, laughing along side you, and being a friend. My kids are far from grown, but this is a wonderful season of our lives where I can enjoy them more and watch them grow instead of helping them grow up. Thing 2 had his first band concert this week. For a group of 11 year old kids who have no prior experience other than the first 2.5 months of school they did great. Thing 2 plays the French Horn. He enjoys it because it was his choice. We did not steer him in any certain direction of what to play. He has music influences around the house and it was nice to see him make his own choice. I look forward to his progress throughout the year.

I enjoy watching performances that showcase all the hard work my kids have put in. It makes me smile and warms my heart. This is only the beginning.

First Pumpkin for our Little Pumpkin

Vacation Highlights Vol. 1

No help
Originally uploaded by rhondaburkhalter

We spent Monday of our vacation relaxing in the pool and catching our breath after a busy day of travel on Sunday. Tuesday we were beach bound! I personally do not enjoy the beach. The sand sticks to everything, the water is full of wildlife and salt, and there is no escaping the blazing sun. I did enjoy it as a child, but I guess that is before I realized what a mess it was. I was excited for Cindy Lou Who's first trip. I knew that she would enjoy it very much. She loves to be outdoors and explore new things. I would have much more enjoyed an early start instead of being in the heat of the day, but we made it work. I captured some great moments that we'll be able to share with her when she is older. For example, while digging in the sand with Daddy, she thought the sand looked yummy enough to eat. So she scooped up a big handful and shoved it in her mouth. The faces that I caught in pictures after that are priceless. A little while later she lost her balance at the shore line and a little wave knocked her down. Mmmmmm, salt water. So with a little grit of sand and some sting of salt Cindy Lou Who got her first taste of the beach.

Only 1

Only one post for July? Really? None for August. Really? Wow. Sorry about that! The summer was super busy and I found it so difficult to sit down at the computer. A couple of other things contributed to my absence. Our computer ran out of memory, so I could not upload any of the pictures I had taken of our activities. Very frustrating. July 31st, 2009 was my official last day in the business world. My new business consist of breakfast, playtime, snack, more playtime, lunch, nap time, afternoon snack, and more playtime. I quit my job and now get to enjoy my daughter. It was a life change for our family that had to be done. I was growing more depressed every day about not being able to enjoy her and raise her. I was feeling guilty each morning as I dropped her off. So, it had to be done. I couldn't be happier. Staying at home with her (and watching a little boy to supplement John's income) does not leave any free time for blogging. At nap time I am busy picking up toys and sitting down to eat my lunch. Then the afternoon brings kids home from school, fixing dinner, homework, dance practices, baseball games, and bath/bedtimes. After all that, I fall onto the sofa and relax before dragging myself to bed to start all over again. I'm drained and haven't had the energy to think or blog. I am on my 3rd day of vacation and with Cindy Lou Who peacefully sleeping in the Pack-N-Play next to me, I blog. We are in Florida visiting John's Dad and Step-Mom (my in-laws would be the short version of that explanation). We left Louisville very early Sunday morning. Cindy Lou Who's first plane ride. She did extremely well on the flight from Louisville to Atlanta. The flight wasn't booked so we were able to use her car seat and all 3 of us sit together. She is under 2 years old and doesn't officially require a ticket, so we didn't buy her one. Which means we take the chance of having to hold her in our laps during the flight if there are no extra seats. Such was the case on our connecting flight from Atlanta to Orlando. This flight did not go so well. It was booked. Every seat taken. So we took a deep breath and crossed our fingers that she would do well. That deep breath was let out in several heavy sighs of frustration. #1, the flight crew was late getting off another flight which delayed us taking off. #2, because of their delay we had to be worked into the other departing flights taxiing. #3, we sat on the run way in "traffic" for a good 30 minutes while flight after flight departed ahead of us. #4, Madison was well past her nap time at this point and well past her tolerance of sitting still. She screamed towards the end of the flight for only a few minutes, but all the time before that she did not sit still one moment. She squirmed between John and I. Back and forth. None of the items we brought for her distraction she cared anything about. Not one thing worked. I don't "fly" well. I hate airplanes. Claustrophobic. Add to that some heavy turbulence on the way and a crazy baby in your lap. Not fun for me. After we arrived in Orlando, we had a 2.5 hour drive to the in-laws condo. Thank goodness his dad was driving. I was beat. Cindy Lou Who was too, so we slept. I'll do an entire vacation post and continue on with our experiences. I just wanted to update while I had the chance and was in the mood to do so. Oh! That pesky problem with our computer running out of memory because of all my pictures was solved with the purchase of an external hard drive. Once we arrive back home, I'll have pictures to add and update some more.

Daddy's Vest

So this picture is from April. Yeah, I know its July, practically August. I was just sorting through my photos updating and uploading and came across this one. Cindy Lou Who was 15 months old here. Now she is *sigh* almost 19 months old. She has cut more teeth and is starting to say more words. She uses her signs for "please", "help", and "more" quite often. It is amazing watching her grow and learn new things. I have much more to update, but thought that I would show some sign of life!

Birthday Fun

We love amusement parks. Actually, we love the Roller Coasters in amusement parks. So for Thing 1 and Thing 2's birthday this year, we thought a fun-filled day at Kings Island would do the trick. For Christmas I purchased season passes for our family of five four. Cindy Lou Who does not need one- she's Free. We did not take her however. This was a day for the people above 56" inches. I barely make it. She was not left out. She had her own party to attend. Miss J is turning 2 Friday and so the party was this past weekend. Kind of hard to compete with 4th of July.

Kings Island is very special to John and I. It was on our first trip there together that he slyly started the conversation about getting married. I don't remember how we got into the conversation about my back pack exactly, but that is the lead in that started it all. You see, my LL Bean back pack that I had for college has my initials monogrammed on it. At the time they were RMB. This was in July 2001. He made the mention that when (not if) we get married, I wouldn't have to worry about my initials being incorrect. His last name begins with a 'B' also, which is now my last name too.


Moving right along with our day! Our first priority was to ride the new coaster I'd been hearing about since summer 2008. When John and I were there last summer, we saw some construction being done near one of our favorite rides, but no signs indicating what was coming. When we got home from that trip, I signed up for the newsletter to be aware of upcoming events. Shortly after that, I received an e-mail with the news of what we had seen. A new roller coaster! Oooooh I was super excited! There was even a video of what it looked like and the course it would take. I really hate waiting for stuff. I am very impatient. April 2009 and here I am in September 2008. Well, at least I had something to look forward to. So off we went (and quickly) to the newest addition to the park.


PS. I hate cannot stand SNAKES (even on TV or pictures)

We had a wonderful, fun-filled day with Thing 1 and Thing 2. They are growing up faster than I can keep up and I enjoyed spending the day with my Big Kids. There are lots more pictures that you can see here of our great day! Our next trip will include Cindy Lou Who as we take on the water park. That is an entire day all by itself.

Hot Topic Tuesday

Jon & Kate file for divorce. June 22, 2009. I never would have imagined this is where they would be when I started watching the show. In the beginning, things were different for them. Jon still had a day job & they weren't making $75,000 an episode. Kate was at home day and night with 8 kids with little or no breaks (same as us Ordinary People, right?). Ask any Stay At Home Mom who has 2 or 3 kids and I'm sure you'll find that her days are not all sunshine & play dates. It is a very demanding and endless job. In the looking back episodes of Jon & Kate before kids, they were different people. We are all different people when courting/dating and in the first few years of marriage. I don't think Jon changed as drastically as Kate, but they were different. He is a laid-back, fun loving, take things as they come type. Kate was focused on school and her career, but still knew how to have fun. Jon is only 2 years older than myself. Becoming a parent at any age is difficult, but even more so when you are younger. When it is multiples it becomes even more challenging. I speak from experience. My twins will turn 11 tomorrow. The carefree days of hanging out with friends until all hours were over. While people my age were experiencing the college years, I was experiencing 3am feeding and diaper changes. While I did "go" to college and earn my degree, it sure wasn't the way I had imagined my life to be (then). So Jon & Kate are young parents to twins. Not so bad, it does get easier. Not the way things turned out for them. Instead of one more child, they got 6. Could you imagine how you would feel if your doctor told you/spouse that you were expecting 6 babies? Take your current living arrangement. Take your current finances. What would you do? A reduction wasn't an option for them. Their faith led them to that decision. So now what? You have 6 babies on the way and 2 already. You live in a condo/apartment built for your current family lifestyle. I don't care who you are, that's some serious pressure. Until those kids were born, no one had ever heard the name Gosselin. Even then, the first documentary done had no promise of fame & fortune. It was to be a glimpse into the life of a mother of multiples and her daily routine with so many small children. Kate did not seem as demanding or direct then. Through the years Kate stepped up to the responsibility while Jon longed for his carefree days. Kate had to take charge or her home would have been a zoo. She had to manage the house cleaning, the grocery bills, the cooking... all the while having 8 kids at your feet. Remember the episode when all the kids were sick and throwing up? It was hard enough when just 1 kid was sick for us while trying to care for the other, let alone having 8 kids sick at one time. In last nights episode, Jon commented that he let Kate rule the roost and now he is standing on his own two feet and is proud of himself. Good for you Jon. You are proud of the fact that instead of communicating with your wife your feelings, you let it build until you just can't take it anymore. Great job. Way to show her. Ugh. To me, Jon was clueless about what it really took to keep things running smoothly. He is the type of person that needs direction rather than being able to see what needs to be done and just doing it. There were many times that Kate reacted before she thought of the way it might sound. We have all done that. She just happened to be filmed while doing it. Also, the editors of the show get paid to make ratings increase. There has to be a person who we love to hate. Kate got pegged as that person. I am guilty of this. Not judging Kate, but of reacting without thinking. My mind moved on to the next thought before I've had time to finish the previous thought. It makes me good at multi-tasking. It doesn't always make the way I communicate come up roses. Lots of times I could see myself in her shoes saying some of those things. I get frustrated when I have to explain something that appears very obvious to me. It makes me a difficult wife, mother, and employee sometimes. Not all of the things she said to him or the places she chose to say them I agree with. When you are in a store with 8 kids and a camera crew, tensions are bound to run high. There isn't always time for a "Please honey." or a "Thank you dear." Facts don't come with chirping birds and butterflies. The real world isn't Mary Poppins. Guilty as charged. The problem is at the end of the day, she may not have apologized and he may have sat silent. If she did not realize or know that she said offended him, she would have no reason to apologize. If he did not speak up and say something about how she made him feel, that is his fault. They had a very serious communication break-down. I wonder if they continued their church going once the show really took off? A break down in the marriage with no help recharging your spiritual batteries will end up with the result we have. They took the deal with TLC to provide for their family. Without it the kids would have suffered. It seems as though they started with their hearts, values, and morals in the right place. That all took a back seat when they forgot about each other. Kate may have been right when she said, without the show the path may have ended the same. Having a family that size with the stress we all deal with may have proved too much. Who knows. All I know is, a family has fallen apart and all the world wants to do is criticize them. They BOTH made some poor decisions. None of which, at least to me, seem so damaging that a little work couldn't fix. Getting a divorce is the selfish way out. They took the vow of marriage - renewed those vows- and now that the worse part has shown up, they quit. They took God out of the marriage and put self in. Jon just wants to live the days he lost being a young parent of 8. Did you notice the double ear piercing and the flashy car? He is clearly the one with the issues. He's not having a mid-life crisis, but he is having an identity crisis. He doesn't want to be tied down or viewed as a dad. He just wants to spend time with his kids, but get his "life" back. He has no idea what he is giving up. PRO 15:27 A greedy man brings trouble to his family, but he who hates bribes will live.

Recital 2009

I am a picture taker. I love to take pictures of my kids doing stuff. Last year at Thing 1's dance recital I was a Room Mom. Room Mom's help the younger dancers with costume changes, keep them entertained while waiting, and basically baby-sit. Not a bad job, I enjoyed being with Thing 1. She had 2 costume changes last year. That also meant 2 hair style changes. No biggie, Momma was there. This year I was in the recital. I enrolled in an Adult Tap class in December at the same studio. I thought it would be a fun way to get some much needed exercise and Thing 1 would enjoy watching me too. Not once did I think about not being a Room Mom. I'm super Mom, I can do it ALL! Ummm, wrong answer. Thing 1 was in 3 numbers this year. The time difference between her 2 & 3 numbers and my dance did not allow for me to be there for her. Her ballet dance was way before mine so I was able to help her change from the ballet to the other costume and get her hair taken care of. That made me feel a little better. Then I had to rush back to my side of the stage and await our turn. The recital itself went fine. Thing 1's ballet class had a little formation problem and I forgot a few steps, but other than that we did great. Thing 1 and I both didn't perform until the second act. During intermission I saw my family (briefly) and tried to figure out what we were doing for supper. I was hungry! Thing 2 oh the wit that he is, thought now would be a moment for humor. "So Bubba, (which is his home nickname since oh BIRTH) what sounds good for supper?" "I don't know. I can guess what you are gonna be having though." A puzzled look for sure upon my face. "What's that?" "Hospital food cause of the leg you're gonna break... Old Lady!" He then proceeded to cackle and laugh. Now, I know he meant no disrespect. He teases me about age ALL the time. He knows I'm not old. I know I'm not old. Dear God please don't let 30 be old. He also did it because he was out of my arms reach. I was in the balcony and they were below me. I could have jumped from the balcony and landed on him in an awesome WWE form, but that surely would have resulted in that broken leg. So, if you are still with me, this all started about my love of picture taking. Last year I was able to take several good pictures at the dress rehearsal and the recital itself (after it was over). PLEASE NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY DURING THE PERFORMANCE. IT MAY CAUSE INJURY TO THE DANCERS... I got news for ya, the flash from a little ol' digital camera ain't nothing compared to those bright, white, hot, steam your face off bulbs on the stage. Anyway, we follow the rules and no pictures were taken during the performance. This year, after it was over, no pictures. I was tired. I had a bag packed full of costumes and make-up. and the kitchen sink. Our blended family was waiting patiently for us. My husband, my ex-husband, his wife, and Thing 2. Cindy Lou Who was at home with the babysitter. I didn't leave her anywhere! By the time we all got together in the lobby... it was 7:30. 30 minutes back to the home town = late supper. We ran home and picked up Cindy Lou Who. The babysitter had other plans for later, it was after all a Saturday night. She had been at our house since 2:30. We had to be at the auditorium by 3:15, so it was a long day.